I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
