someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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