We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You are the jesus of drinking
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
