There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
