I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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