Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
