She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
