I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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