I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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