I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
