how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
