Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
