I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
