It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
