Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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