We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think people are normalizing furries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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