i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
