Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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