i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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