This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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