Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
