There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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