is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize