she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think i just lost a toe
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
