God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
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No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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