it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
