Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
