"it" just moved
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How does one acquire holy water?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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