just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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