At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
