I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
