I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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