we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
