Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
