I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
