are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
