We won't sleep together?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
