Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
