And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize