do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize