the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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