if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
