i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
