I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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