Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
