I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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