he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So much rum. So many feels.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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