WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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