quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
