Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
