Sry I called you an 8
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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