what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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