Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
