You really coming over, don't trick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
