i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
