It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
