Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize