I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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