Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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