Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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