I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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