I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize