It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Rumble strips road head = magical
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
