this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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