Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
